You're Two...

Weslee,
You're two. Where has the time gone? You've traded your cute little chipmunk cheeks from your first mortal days for the leaner look of your toddler years (though no matter how old or lean you get, I'll never, as long as I live, forget holding you in the hospital for the first time with only your cheeks poking out of the blankets, and falling in love with you instantly. ) You've kept the beautiful blue eyes I adore so much.

You bring joy to my life everyday. You are a wonder of a little boy. How I ever earned the privilege of being your mother, I'll never know...but you are one of a kind. You are my own personal angel. I couldn't ask for more from a son. I am so very proud of you.

Some of my favorite things about you at this age: You are so compassionate. If anyone is crying, or hurt, the concern shows in your eyes. If it happens to be me that is crying or hurt, you come and stand beside me, pat my back, and ask if I'm "doh-tay?" I love that you kiss owies, both mine and your own. You try to love and care for everyone you come in contact with. The nursery leaders have told me that you've been a real friend to those in nursery who are crying or hurt. I am so proud of you for being a good friend.

You are so independent. "My too" or "my turn" is something we hear alot around here. Thank heavens you want to do things on your own! I love watching you put your wellies on to go outside, struggling with everything you've got to get your little feet inside those rain boots. I love watching you "read" books to yourself and to me. You don't want to sit in the high chair anymore, but in the other "chai-oo" to eat your food with the rest of the family and drink out of a normal cup, not a sippy.

You are obedient. I rarely have to ask you to do something more than once. If I ask you to get in bed, please...you begin climbing into bed. If I tell you to hold my hand when crossing our street, you hold it up for me to reach. And, the latest in miracles, when I'm mowing our crazy lawn and leave the back gate open for a split second to get the mower where I need it to go, and I ask you to stay in the backyard because it's dangerous near the road. You stay right within the door frame and go no further. You poke your head out to see what's going on, but you never moved out of the backyard. I thought to myself, "This child is uncommonly obedient" and I was so thankful.

You are helpful. Mommy has such a big job to do right now. Holding down the fort while Daddy is gone is a big responsibility and I appreciate all of the help you give me every day. You unlock the door to the car each time we go somewhere. You like to help carry the groceries in from the grocery store. When you spill at the table, you often get down with a rag after the meal and help me clean up the mess. You pick up your toys, often without being told, every evening before bed. You put your dishes in the sink after the meal. And, you help me load the washer with our dirty clothes. You have no idea how much these small things really do help me. I appreciate all that you do to make mommy's burden lighter while Daddy is away. I love you for it!

You are imaginative. I love sneaking up on you while you're pretending. I caught you feeding "Sheepie" in the high chair the other day and asking him to help clean up the mess. (Your tone of voice sounded so much like me as you said "Uh oh, mahss. Keen up, keen up, sseepee!" and you pretended to wipe the tray.) I know that we probably shouldn't encourage the whole "gun" thing, but I love watching you pretend to shoot the bad guys and then "die" in the hallway. I know my laughter just encourages you...but it's dang funny!

You are smart. You have always picked up new things quickly. I am persuaded that you will do well in life at whatever you pursue simply because you grasp new concepts so rapidly. I love that you want to learn. You are inquisitive. All day long you'll ask "Dat?" meaning "What's that?" and I'll tell you, "That's a car-jack." or "That's a magnet." or "That's a microphone." and I'll hear you repeat the word to yourself. You always surprise me when a few weeks later you'll whip that word right out and use it in the right context. Today you could see your shadow at dinner (a word you learned 3 weeks ago on a walk) and you looked at me with a knowing look in your eye and simply said, "Dahdow, mama". I was shocked as I acknowledged you were right. Or today when we were watching a documentary on Joseph Smith and they showed the earth on the screen. First, you pointed out that it was a circle and then asked me "Dat?" I told you it was the earth and that yes, it was in-fact a circle. "Eawt". "Eawt." Eawt." I heard you say it over and over again while the earth remained on the screen. I will not be surprised if we see another "earth" in the near future and you pull that new word out of your bag of tricks.

You are a daily miracle to me, my boy. I hope I never forget to see you as the miracle that you are. I hope I don't ever let the little bumps in the road that happen from day to day get in the way of all of the incredible good that you do. I hope I always remind you, over and over again, that I love you. I hope I tell you of your incredible worth to our Father in Heaven enough times that you always believe it. I hope I nurture the gifts that are already in your possession and help you to become the man your Father in Heaven (and I) see in you. I hope I always treasure each day with you.

Because I know that the next time I blink, another year will have gone by. It won't be long before you fly the coup and I'll be missing the dirt smudges, the booger kisses, the little messes, and the mooshed bugs. I'll have a stain-free shirt, but I'll be missing your little fingers wrapped around my own. I'll look at those scribbles in my scriptures with fondness. I'll be longing for the sound of a sleeping baby on my chest. I'll miss your laughter ringing through the house. So, I hope I always remember to treasure those things while I have them. Happy Two Years, my big boy! Here's to another great one!

Tycle...

Is there anything more endearing than hearing a toddler begin to use language? I am totally enamored with hearing Weslee's attempts to communicate his feelings, his wants and desires, and placing labels on everything that makes up his world. Some of his words are easy to recognize: mommy, daddy, hi, bye bye, and my personal favorite...Yyyyyep! Others are a little harder to make out. And some are impossible for me to understand. It's the ones that I understand but no one else does that just tug at my heart strings. I'll be so sad when he talks like a grown up and I don't hear words like "wuz zoo" (love you), "Deezus Cwyst" (Jesus Christ), "day too" (thank you), "a-mas" (airplane) and "tockolee" (chocolate) anymore.

Lately, one of his favorite words (because it is one of his favorite things) is "Tycle". This word, to Weslee, means motorcycle. There is a bouncy motorcycle at the park, and he runs for it shouting "tycle, tycle, tycle". He thinks his trike looks like a motorcycle (in fact, the reason we bought this particular trike is because when he saw it he started shouting "tycle. My tycle" in a very excited voice. We were there to buy a trike anyway. Thought it would be good to get one he was so excited about. And everytime a loud vehicle passes our window....sometimes even when Wes is completely asleep, I'll hear from some part of the house "Tycle. Mom! Wow! Tycle!"

So, even though I don't necessarily like "tycles" and even though I definitely don't listen for them all day, I love my son's enthusiasm. He teaches me everyday to enjoy life and be excited for the miracles (including the tycles) that are all around me.

My Heroes

Life has been very good to me. It has presented me with several opportunities to rub shoulders with amazing people. Some of them came into my life for a short time and then left, probably never knowing how much they meant to me. Others have stuck around and have seen me evolve as a person. And, of course, some of them are sealed to me forever. But, I've had alot of time to think over the past week and inevitably, these people have come to mind. I wanted to take a little time and give a shout out to my heroes. (And this is by no means a comprehensive list...I'm just going to write until my arm gets tired or the boy wakes up...whichever happens first).

My first hero is my husband. He wouldn't consider himself a hero, that's part of his appeal. Full of conviction, brave enough to share that conviction, and lives according to that conviction. He is a man of integrity. I can always trust the things he tells me. In 1o years of knowing him, I have never caught him in a lie. Ever. He is genuine. He has never worried about what other people think about him. He never frets over impressing people. He is solely focused on what God thinks of him. (If I can pick up anything from him, this is the attribute I most want). And last, he genuinely cares about other people. Time and time again, I've watched him go out of his way to bless the lives of other people. I've watched him put aside his cares, his worries, his busy schedule to go and do whatever is needed of him...even here at home. I've seen him come home from work immediately to start the dishes, take Wes out to play so I can have a moment alone, or vacuum the floors...and I've never once heard him complain about it. He seems thrilled to help. (I realize that I am totally blessed in this regard). There are about a million more things I could put here...reasons that he's my very greatest hero of all. But I have other heroes too, and limited time to write.

My mother is one of my heroes. My mom defied her family to join a church that has brought a multitude of blessings into the lives of my family. Almost every good thing in my life I can trace to that decision of hers. My successes at school, in my career, the development of my talents, my beautiful eternal family, and my testimony of Jesus Christ. She is an independent thinker. I admire her bravery and even her stubbornness. My mother is stubborn in doing what is right. And last, I admire my mother's unsinkable optimism. She can see blessings in the bleakest of circumstances. Our house burns down when I'm in eighth grade and I hear her saying "We own our home outright now." No mention of it being a hopeless, burned out shell of a place. Just the blessing of owning it and not having to make any more payments on it. And then, she grabbed her tools along with my dad and went to rebuild the place. We find out a couple years later that we're moving to Argentina, away from everything we know, and the first thing out of my mom's mouth is "This is going to be an amazing adventure". No whining about missing family or friends, the absence of the comforts in the states we were used to, or any misgivings about misfortunes we might meet there. Just confidence and a shopping spree to buy a whole lot of peanut butter and taco seasoning. She packed our house up while my father was already gone and we were at school, and still managed to make it to the plane with a big grin on her face.

And then, there's my sister, Charla. Full of faith, that one! If I've ever met a rock, it's Charla. She gained a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ long before I did and held onto it with everything she's got. She was a missionary from the very beginning. Not afraid to open her mouth, she's still known for speaking out at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting in our high school as a FRESHMAN and submitting that Christ said to "Come follow me" not just to "Come believe in me". She admonished those who were upper classmen to show their faith in Christ by living by his teachings and following his example, not just professing a belief in Him. She's had many more opportunities to share the gospel since then, and she never fails to say exactly what is on her mind. She is a hard worker. She sets her sights on a goal and works until she obtains it. Whether she's running marathons, getting a teaching degree or learning to play the guitar, she doesn't get off of her course until she's obtained her goal.

My brother, Bubba. The most generous person I've ever met. He's been like this for as long as I can remember. He must have been 8 or so when my grandmother gave him some birthday money one year. He turned around and spent most of it on my sister and I. Even at 10 years old, I was floored that he would do something like that. He would give you the shirt off of his back...even if it's his favorite Abercrombie shirt. We're lucky to have him in our family...he's taught us alot.

Randy and Liesl Bailey. Not many people would allow almost complete strangers to come and live in their spare bedroom, but that's what these two did. More than generous, their friendship has taught us to share with all those we meet. They taught us that all of our substance belongs to the Lord and it's not ours to keep, only ours to give. They've touched our lives forever.

Tera Rocknak. With 5 children, I don't know how she finds the time to keep up with all of her friends. I always feel special around Tera...or even if we're countries apart. She emails, and updates, and sends Christmas cards. Tera has a special talent for brightening people's lives and getting them out of themselves to mingle with the world again. And then, she continues to be a ray of sunshine in their lives long after the darkness has passed.

Carol Hales. I count my lucky stars that she is my mother in law. Carol is blessed with the ability to see the good in everyone, and to forgive quickly when people show their not-so-great side. I love hearing her talk about the people she's meeting on her mission with Clint (my awesome father in law) and how beautiful they are, inside and out. I love hearing her "skewed" view of my own attributes in birthday cards and anniversary letters.

And of course, Clint Hales. Mr. friendly. Clint can't walk into a grocery store without coming out with a new friend. The man can talk to people after church almost as long as the church meetings themselves take. He always makes you feel like what you have to say is important. No matter the topic, he's always interested. People like that are rare...and I've found out from watching Clint...people like that have ALOT of friends. We can barely go anywhere without people knowing Clint.

Sarah Egbert. My cousin in law. We've only spent a couple of days here and there in eachother's presence, but she is one of my heroes. She knows how to love others. Her heart is big enough for the whole world to fit into. She has a heart of gold. Even when we're playing games or wave surfing at the beach, I feel like I'm in a warm embrace when I'm around her. Being her friend is uplifting. Always.

Vicki Wilkins. My hero because of her ability to mother. As our current bishop's wife, she personally mothers 9 children...who are all wonderful and love eachother and are well behaved, etc. etc. I have learned to be soft spoken from her. I have learned to pray for a house free of contention. I have learned to teach Weslee to love from my own actions. She also extends that mothering to all of us who are here without a mom. She is wonderful.

Allison Stokes. One word. Thoughtful. I get the privilege of serving with her in Young Women's. She is always thinking of others, how to lift them, serve them, make them feel special. I was just the recipient of her thoughtfulness. The flowers are still in my window and bring a smile to my face every time I see them.

Kris Cassat. She's a natural leader. I enjoy working under her in Young Women's. She knows how to motivate and inspire people to do their best. Never overbearing, but always interested in what's going on. I love this woman!

Well, the kid's awake and there are about a million people I could still list here for various reasons. If you don't see your name on the page, know that your name is in my heart. I am who I am today because of all of the people who have touched my life.

Daddy Home?

The old saying goes, "You never know what you've got until it's gone". This is certainly true with my little Weslee. Just last weekend, we came to get Weslee from our friend's house after a day trip in London alone...and Weslee totally bypassed Kevin to run into my arms. I think in that moment, Kevin thought Weslee would never miss him when he was gone.

But, the last few days have proven otherwise. The day we said goodbye to Kevin, Weslee seemed much the same. He's used to being alone at home with me all day. But, when the sky started getting dark, and especially when I announced that I would make dinner, Weslee began the arduous search for "Daddy". He went upstairs, expecting that perhaps he had snuck through the door when he wasn't looking and was lurking in our room somewhere, or was perhaps on the computer. He went from room to room calling, "Daddy? Daaaaaaaaaddy!" When he finally decided that Kevin was nowhere in the house, he came to me, put his arms around my legs and looked up with a huge question mark in his eyes. "Daddy?" It was up to me to try to explain that Daddy was gone to work for a very long time.

This morning we woke very early (7:30 am is the crack of dawn in this house). Weslee was crying hysterically in bed. I laid him against my chest. When he finally calmed down enough to speak, he looked up at me with huge tears still in his eyes asked "Daddy Home?" I shook my head no, that Daddy wasn't home. I explained again that Daddy was at work for a very long time. He put his head on my chest and wrapped his little arms around my neck as tight as he could get them. For the next few minutes I heard him whisper, "Daddy home....daddy....my daddy home", into my shirt.

Oh Kevin, I wish you could see just how much you are loved...just how much you are necessary to both of our lives. It would both swell your heart with joy and break it into tiny pieces.

Goodbye

Goodbye comes to our household more than I would like, and it always takes with it my handsome husband. It takes with it my security at night...strange sounds always sound scarier when you realize that YOU'RE the one who has to protect the family if anyone breaks in. Goodbye takes with it my desire to cook big meals (and Wes and I live for months on tacos, sandwiches, salads, yogurt, cereal and fruit) because Kevin's not there to ooh and aah over my latest culinary experiment, and Wes mostly throws it on the floor. Goodbye steals the warmth from the sheets at night and I always wake up cold. Goodbye brings tears to my eyes when I'm in the privacy of my own home and a "brave" smiling face when I'm not. Goodbye brings a flurry of activity and service projects to keep my mind occupied. It steals away late night conversation and cuddling.

Goodbye does give sometimes too. Goodbye lessens my ice-cream cravings (I only eat the stuff when Kevin is home). It cuts the laundry by a third. Goodbye gives me the car to drive around and see the countryside at will. Goodbye gives me stacks and stacks of wonderful email to read from my beloved (this is the very best part). Goodbye gives me strength (what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?). Goodbye makes me rely on God more than I ever would otherwise. Goodbye makes me patient.

Goodbye. An enemy and a friend. Dreaded, yet necessary. Goodbye, my offering to my country, unwillingly, but resignedly. Goodbye, my husband, my truest friend, I love you and I'll see you again.

London Shows

Ireland- March 3-7, 2009

Ireland. The Emerald Isle. This is a place we've both wanted to visit since, well, we've seen Tom Cruise fall in love with Nicole Kidman in Far and Away. Teri discovered that some of her family originated from Ireland and it added fuel to the fire. We booked our tickets, made reservations at a condo near Limerick and headed out to greener pastures...literally. I've never seen so much green in my life...and it was still technically winter in Ireland. In fact, our first day there, it snowed!

Kevin gave Wes and I the window seat, as usual. I've tried to let him sit there, but he never takes me up on my offer. Our first visions of Ireland were minutes before the plane landed. We decended through a thick grey cloud and suddenly, laid out before us was a vast patch-work of beautiful green land. We landed at Shannon and acquired our rental car...a tiny bug of an automobile (and boy, were we glad it was small on THESE roads!) and headed for our condo in Bodyke...a small golfing town in County Clare. I was smart enough this time to get an automatic, but it was still a harrowing experience sometimes. In Ireland, ancient stone walls line every road on the west coast. The vegetation then has covered these stone walls. So, it looks as though you are driving through cliffs of vegetation with zero mess-up room on either side. It was terrifying at first to be the passenger and see this 5-7 foot wall of green whizzing past your window, inches from the side-view mirrors. Kevin navigated the roads very well again...but agreed to drive on our next family adventure.

Since it was snowing when we got there, and since we were expecting our friends to arrive a little later in the after noon, we spent our first day, Tuesday, driving around the immediate area looking for a grocery store and an ATM. We found both of these just 10 minutes from the condo. We also found a yummy kebab shop that we visited a few times later in the week. After grabbing groceries, we headed back to the condo to start dinner for our travel weary friends. We ate and enjoyed...but we all went to bed early tonight. It was freezing and we were all tired.

Day 2 took us to the Cliffs of Moher. One of my favorite things to see. 200 feet of sheer rocky drop off into the Atlantic ocean. It was snowing at the condo, raining when we got to the Cliffs, and freezing cold in both places. The kids' lips started turning blue just minutes after starting the stroll along the tops of the cliffs. Wes's teeth chattered and his eyes watered the entire time. We kept trying to block the wind, but to no avail. If it were a sunny day, it would have been a lovely place to spend the day, have a picnic, and let the kids run around. As it was though, we had to turn in early to keep everyone from getting frost bite. So, instead we just ended up with a minor case of wind burn.

The rest of the day was spent driving around. We tried to see the small town of Doolin and catch some traditional Celtic music. Umm...that didn't start until 9pm. A no go with small children. Then, we wanted to know if we could catch a ferry to the Aran Islands. Um, they don't run the ferries until after Easter. The sea is too stormy. Then, our friend Shawn picked out a site in the Burren, Polnabronne, a 5,000 year old portal tomb in the middle of nowhere and we decided to go see it.

When we pulled up, after winding through some of the most barren (and might I say ugly???) landscape I've ever seen on some of the craziest roads I've ever driven, Shawn jumps out to look at the little leaning rock pile and says "Is this it???". He promptly hopped back in the car without so much as coming and taking a picture. His wife, Kim came with us to check it out. It was a pile of rocks. We read the signs about its history, and still weren't overly impressed. We snapped some shots, but ultimately, we were glad to head home.

Tonight we played games, ate Chicken Tikka Masala and had a good time. I was a wimp and went to bed at eleven. Everyone else was up way later.

The next morning, we split up. Kevin, Weslee and I went to the Eastern side of Ireland to see Bru na Boinne, another very old prehistoric tomb. It was ALOT cooler than the one the day before. We were glad we went. And, we got to tour a museum about the prehistoric peoples that dwelt in Ireland...how they lived, ate, worshipped. It was fascinating. Each year at the winter solstice, the sun shines through the portal of the tomb and lights the place up. Each year, hundreds of people put their names in a lottery hoping to be chosen to see the lighting of the tomb. We put our names in the hat...we'll see what happens. It would be cool to see, and it would be nice to get to see Dublin or some more of the East coast the next time. As it was, we spent too much time at the tombs to really see much of anything else.

On our way home, we stopped by Trim Castle. We stopped there mainly because of our good friend Elder Trim. We wanted to take some pictures for him and show him how important he was. :) A beautiful ruin of a castle, surrounded by a moat, I walked around it for over an hour taking pictures. On the hill top, where the ruin of the abbey was situated, you could see the entire town, the entire castle, and the rain rolling in in the distance. It was a lovely place to sit and think (which several University students were taking advantage of) or stroll with your dog or loved one or both. A peaceful place. But, as we learned more about the castle, it was anything but a peaceful place in its heyday. Trim was the stronghold of the Normans. It was meant to protect the Normans from the fierce Gaelic people. It was made large and imposing to intimidate the Gaelics...but it didn't stop frequent attacks. Because Trim was a center of trade, the Gaelics often attacked the surrounding people. I'm sure people weren't strolling around the castle with their dogs during those days.

Day 4 was my favorite day of all. We headed south in the rain to visit Blarney Castle and kiss the Blarney stone. Today had special importance for me because of who had built the castle. The Mac Arthur clan built the castle to control the southern portion of Ireland. My ancestors, the O'Sullivans were Lords of Beare and Bantry under the Mac Arthurs. They would have come to this castle to discuss wars, lands, and other governing issues with their king. I could imagine my ancestors in the great dining hall talking with other lords and ladies, in the guest quarters, and in the nasty indoor toilets doing their business (gross, I know)...especially when you realize that their "business" rolled down the side of the castle onto the ground below. As Wes would say...."Ewwwwwww". We climbed to the very top of the castle and hung upside down to press our lips to the famous Stone of Eloquence. I had great hopes for myself after kissing the Blarney Stone...but I will say, to the disappointment of many, it didn't improve the eloquence of either Kevin or I. Just minutes after kissing it, we were still our same sarcastic selves.

We spent some time roaming around the gardens, imagining what they will look like in the spring. The trees and shrubs were just starting to show signs of life, but it would be many more weeks before the full beauty of the place is known.

We spent the last of our day driving through Killarney National Park. I SO WISH it hadn't been so grey and cloudy today. The visibility was poor, but what we saw of the park was gorgeous. We went home to console ourselves with several hours of board games and fun with our friends, the Hatches.

The next morning, we got up and checked out of the condo and went our separate ways again. Our family headed to County Tipperary to see the Rock of Cashel, a medieval fortress/church set up on a hill. Weslee loved our visit to this place because he got to run around amongst the ancient tombs and crosses. Kevin chased him all over the place, threw him in the air, tickled him to death...and in general, made Weslee's day. I had a WONDERFUL time taking pictures. What a beautiful place. Black birds were swooping all over the place and flying around like a storm cloud above the church and tower.

We headed next to the 1848 Wartime Famine Museum. It was out in the middle of nowhere. We mostly went to learn more about the famine. It talked a great deal about the rebellions in Ireland that were exacerbated by the famine that brought thousands of Irish immigrants to the United States and elsewhere. I can't imagine living in such circumstances. We found out that while the potato blight hit all of Europe, the Irish were the only ones who faced a famine, because they were the only ones who's primary food source was potatoes...not wheat or corn. We also found out that during the famine, Ireland was still exporting millions of pounds of corn. There was enough food for all of Ireland's people...the gentry just prefered to line their pockets with gold instead of look out for the poor. It was a sad tale of the natural man overrulling the commandments of God.

After the museum, we went to Limmerick for dinner. We had hoped to eat in a pub...but apparently, the pubs in Limmerick are more like an American bar and less like an English pub where families are welcome and good, cheap food is served. The only family pub we found cooked American cuisine and charged an arm and a leg. We decided we'd rather have kabobs and ended our Irish experience. We headed to the airport to await our plane back home.

Our favorite things about Ireland: THE PEOPLE. Some of the friendliest people we've ever met live in Ireland. They mill about the towns in large crowds, talking loudly and smiling broadly. They are helpful, and not at all reserved and stuffy like the British. We also really enjoyed the roads. They were scary at times, but totally unique to Ireland. The rock walls and greenery hugging the pavement as it whizzes past your car were a sight to behold. And last, the company. The best decision we ever made was to make this trip with friends. We enjoyed seeing the sights with the Hatch's and playing board games until the late hours of the night.