Tonight is monumental. This is our last night in the United States for several years. The last few weeks have been filled with more emotions than I could sometimes hold. Sometimes I gritted my teeth in frustration (mostly when getting my house ready for cleaning inspections). Sometimes I found myself giddy with excitement. Sometimes, the tears would come without any warning whatsoever. And now, at the pinnacle of it all, I sit in a small temporary military living facility with all of our luggage neatly stacked on the couch, waiting for our departure tomorrow morning at 6:30 am.
It's late, but part of me doesn't want to sleep. When I wake up, life will change in quick succession. Friends, that I just spent sweet moments with just a few short hours ago at our going away party could become just another part of my history...perhaps never again to be seen face to face. Those that I've become close to, mere memories of times long past, like so many before them; placed in my life to shape and change it, and then gone as quickly as they came.
And yet, the gypsy in me is jumping at the opportunity for excitement. The "new" of moving. New friends, faces, places, memories, and history. A new home. A new environment. The itching wanderer inside of me can't wait to board a plane and fly into the unknown.
And so, in this small apartment, I'm filled with strange sensations. A dichotomy of feelings broiling under the surface of my skin. Life, though I'm still awake, feels like a dream. Though reality long ago set in (with the scrubbing of my walls and the digging up of the garden and the departure of all my treasured belongings) that I am IN FACT moving, my mind still cannot wrap itself around the distance we will travel tomorrow and the permanency of our situation. I say that I will miss my friends and family, but in fact, I can't really believe that I'm going so far away that I might not see many of them for several years. I'm sure the tears of sorrow at my loss will meet me sometime in the next 24 hours.
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2 comments:
I didn't think it was all going to come so fast! I hate to think of you guys so far away that we can't give you a qick call, or visit! I hope your new home holds all the love and adventure your 'gypsy' spirit can hold. I envy your freedom to move about, and your attitude in embracing change. I wish I could share your journey and explore together. Since I obviously can't please keep us posted on what you are doing through this blog. I don't want to miss how many adventures you will all undoubtably have! Best of luck, missing you already!
Well, some of your family, and extented friends (by way of family! :) ) are just crazy enough to come see you over there! Mark my words woman -- the gypsy in me will be cause enough for crossing an ocean... ;)
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